The Cojones Virus
Dir. Evan Jacobs (2022)
A man is bitten by a bug and discovers that he has contracted the Cojones Virus.
CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
Indie films with super low budget are fascinating, because a tiny budget makes people be much more creative than they may otherwise have to be. There are so many films with a budget of $1,000 or less that look like shit, with horrible production values that feel inexcusable in a time when the phone in your pocket can film better audio and video. This film, made for a mere $200, looks better than most of the films like it, and the audio is actually surprisingly good as well. While the lack of action through a good bit of the film definitely suggests the barebones resources the crew was working with, there’s a lot of heart involved here that is always good to see in a movie like this.
The Cojones Virus maintains a lot of its comedy through the performance of Mike Hartsfield as Chad Lutz, who spends a lot of the film driving around, smoking cigarettes, and talking on the phone through his headset before he is bitten by a “rare bug” that is clearly a mosquito at a truckstop that gives him the titular Cojones Virus. As he stumbles along in a hat that says “Ask me about my butthole,” Lutz tries desperately to make it to Lake Havasu, where he plans on meeting friends for a huge party. Director Evan Jacobs smartly uses his camera’s limitations to mirror Lutz’s POV, shifting in and out of focus, while occasionally shifting the film into slow-motion to portray his growing delirium.
The film definitely focuses more on comedy than action, and whether this was the right call will depend entirely on the audience that views it. I found some of it legitimately funny, but it probably wasn’t as humorous to me as it was to the people involved in making the film. It’s certainly juvenile, but it’s no different than some of the films that you’d see from “auteurs” like Chris Seaver (Carnage for the Destroyer) or John Karyus (Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead). The Cojones Virus will find a good number of fans who appreciate where it’s coming from, and Evan Jacobs is a name to watch out for in the no-budget horror business.
Who this movie is for: Ultra-low-budget horror fans, Indie film lovers, The averagely endowed
Bottom line: Cheap as hell but definitely entertaining, this super-small production is worth a watch for fans of cheap comedy horror. I can say without a doubt that this is the best film ever made about a man whose testicles grow to a ridiculous size during a global pandemic and are also clearly balloons wrapped in pantyhose. Not all of the jokes hit with me, but enough did to make it well worth the short 46-minute runtime. Check this one out if you’re a fan of ultra-low budget horror, there are a lot worse ways to spend less than an hour of your time. Check out Anhedenia Films Unlimited’s streaming channel for some great, cheap horror fun.