Dir. Kale Eickhof (2021)
Killer loons have taken over a lake populated by townsfolk looking to have fun.
CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
For my money, there’s nothing scarier than waterfowl, those aquatic birds who can’t seem to decide whether they belong in the air or the water. Quite frankly, animals should have to pick a lane and stay there. You don’t get the land, sea, and air. That’s bullshit. Anyway, someone sent me this film and I cannot stress enough how amazing this movie is. It took me a good half an hour to determine whether or not it was meant to be serious or to be a straight-up comedy, because the film has such insane special effects, bizarre acting choices, and crazy-as-hell camerawork that you can’t help but be entertained despite never quite knowing what it is you’re watching. Rest assured, this one is definitely meant to be funny, a straight-faced take on evil basically-ducks laden with bizarrely obvious CGI and one of the odder soundtracks I’ve ever heard.
The call of the loon is legitimately creepy, that lonesome sound that drifts across the wilderness, letting you know you’re not alone in the most ominous way possible. Loon! uses plenty of loon sound effects, to be sure, but there’s nothing even slightly frightening involved. The film is a tongue-in-cheek horror comedy, one that is best watched with a crowd to truly appreciate the absurdity. It’s the best animal-based horror comedy I’ve seen since Zombeavers, and that’s actually saying a lot more than you’d think. While I definitely wouldn’t compare Loon! with Zombeavers, they’re both equally off-the-wall fun and both well worth a watch.
We ultimately learn that the loons are out to end humanity, who they view as the true pests that are destroying the world. This leads to some pretty epic battles between the local fish and wildlife officer and the loud-mouthed game animals. If you’ve ever wanted to see someone beat a bird to death with a golf club or chop one up with a chainsaw, this is the film for you. If you don’t appreciate ridiculous, absurdist comedy, I’d definitely recommend giving this one a pass. But if you’re like me and feel like The Velocipastor should’ve won an Oscar, then this one should definitely go to the top of your watch pile.
Who this movie is for: Horror comedy lovers, Creature feature fans, The Audubon Society
Bottom line: Loon! is a fucking delight to watch. I haven’t had this much fun with a movie since watching Sledgehammer at the Terror Vision Film Festival, and this one is very much along the line of that. Thankfully, the humor in this one is much more intentional, and it’s not so much there because the people making it were bad at making movies. Director Kale Eickhof, who seemed to cast every single one of his family members in various roles throughout the film, did a phenomenal job of making one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. And believe me when I say, I mean that in the best way possible. Check out their website at www.loon-movie.com and find out where to watch it near you. Right now it’s only in the Minnesota area, but this is one that’s destined to be a cult classic.
